Dream the Dream

Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

Isnt' this what Oprah has been telling us for years?  Every so often Mr. Thoreau pops into my life.  He has long been a favorite author of mine.  I think the two of us must have some connection in a past life. I found this quote on facebook on one of my favorite pages Positively Positive.  It's funny because on my way to the farmers' market this morning I was thinking about the future - my dream house to be exact.  Delilah was talking about picking apples on her farm last night on her radio show and her farm is her favorite place to be.  I decided a long time ago that I wanted a favorite place to be too.  I love our little apartment, but it's not mine, it belongs to someone else.  We need new carpet - bad, but I can't buy it so instead, I've covered up the carpet with area rugs; my daughter would love to paint her room, but she can't, so we hung up posters.  I would love to have a bigger kitchen with pretty cabinets, but I'm making do with what I've got.   Maybe if I hadn't been so careless in the past, financially,  our dream house might be more of a reality.  And that's sad.  Then there's Mr. Thoreau - popping up on my facebook news flashes.

He's telling me to let go of the past, and go for it.  I think to myself, good grief I just bought a new car!  I can't add a house to that too, so I'm thinking about a compromise.  I'm going to give our "cozy" little apartment a little while longer.  But I'm going to start going "confidently in the direction of my dream."  I was blessed with a generous gift recently from my dad, and my daughter and I talked about it and we decided that the gift should go towards our dream of a "favorite place to be."  Somehow, I'm going to keep adding to it every month, and maybe before I know it, that dream will indeed be a reality.  My hope is that it is here in the Northwest where I am meant to be and have come to call my home.

So thanks Mr. Thoreau, you give me a gift every time you waltz into my life through your many wonderful words.  One of these days I will certainly be "living the life I have imagined"  digging in my own garden, playing with my beloved dogs and letting my daughter see that dreams can come true with a little hard work.  Cheers!

Dream the Dream

Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

Isnt' this what Oprah has been telling us for years?  Every so often Mr. Thoreau pops into my life.  He has long been a favorite author of mine.  I think the two of us must have some connection in a past life. I found this quote on facebook on one of my favorite pages Positively Positive.  It's funny because on my way to the farmers' market this morning I was thinking about the future - my dream house to be exact.  Delilah was talking about picking apples on her farm last night on her radio show and her farm is her favorite place to be.  I decided a long time ago that I wanted a favorite place to be too.  I love our little apartment, but it's not mine, it belongs to someone else.  We need new carpet - bad, but I can't buy it so instead, I've covered up the carpet with area rugs; my daughter would love to paint her room, but she can't, so we hung up posters.  I would love to have a bigger kitchen with pretty cabinets, but I'm making do with what I've got.   Maybe if I hadn't been so careless in the past, financially,  our dream house might be more of a reality.  And that's sad.  Then there's Mr. Thoreau - popping up on my facebook news flashes.

He's telling me to let go of the past, and go for it.  I think to myself, good grief I just bought a new car!  I can't add a house to that too, so I'm thinking about a compromise.  I'm going to give our "cozy" little apartment a little while longer.  But I'm going to start going "confidently in the direction of my dream."  I was blessed with a generous gift recently from my dad, and my daughter and I talked about it and we decided that the gift should go towards our dream of a "favorite place to be."  Somehow, I'm going to keep adding to it every month, and maybe before I know it, that dream will indeed be a reality.  My hope is that it is here in the Northwest where I am meant to be and have come to call my home.

So thanks Mr. Thoreau, you give me a gift every time you waltz into my life through your many wonderful words.  One of these days I will certainly be "living the life I have imagined"  digging in my own garden, playing with my beloved dogs and letting my daughter see that dreams can come true with a little hard work.  Cheers!

Birthdays and Friends

Friends and birthdays go together just like ice cream and cake.  Today was my birthday and I heard from all of my friends.  To me that's pretty amazing because I live in Oregon and most of my friends live in or near my home town of Lewes, DE.  In a few weeks we will be gathered back there for our 30th High School Reunion.  And I'm looking forward to it.  Although, I have to say that it seems like 30 years was a long time ago.  Are we really that old?  Shoot, when we were seniors 50 seemed so far away and for me it's a little closer than I would like it to be (365 days to be exact).  In this modern age of Facebook and the internet those 30 years just disappear and we are all 17 again.  That's how I remember my high school friends.  I thumb through my yearbook and I look at all of us "back in the day".  We were so young and full of hope and promise, and really not that much has changed.  When I get to my picture I tend to be a little over critical of the adult me.  I'm still that girl in the picture.  Just older, and I hope, a whole lot wiser.  But that girl that was so full of fun and adventure is still a big part of who I am.  My mother sent me the best birthday card.  It said ". . . you dance to your own wonderful beat. You don't follow the crowd, you follow your heart."  Only your mother can send you that card, because she is the one who knows you best. And yes, every word is true.  I made my own path.  It hasn't always been easy, but my friends have supported me, and held me up and been there for me.  When I scrolled down my facebook page today I looked at who had sent me messages.  There were friends there who represented different parts of my life and who still live where I knew them as well as friends that I have here in my new home.  It makes you feel very grateful when you scroll down the list and see who checked in.
There are some quotes I'd like to share here regarding your friends.  One is by Ralph Waldo Emerson and is probably one of my favorites.  He says that "A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nautre."  Another author is unknown says "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."  I love both of those quotes because all of the people that I hold near and dear to me qualify for both.  I think of my childhood friends when I think of the second quote.  We went through so much growing up. Climbing trees, riding bikes, playing softball, Jr. High, first loves, divorcing parents, driving, eating pizza, visiting colleges, and moving into our adulthood, some more gracefully than others.  But at the lowest times in my life, those were the people that sang back to me when I was lost and needed to remember the words of the song so I could get back on the right path.   Mr Emerson helps me to remember and appreciate all that I have.  When I adopted my daughter I met a group of the most amazing women I had ever known.  Nearly 12 years later we are still friends and our girls refer to each other as "the Chinese Cousins." Like my childhood friends they are a masterpiece and I treasure each and everyone of them.  There have been other people in my life that when I see them it's like we have never missed a beat and we pick right up where we left off.  We don't see each other all that often, but they are special to me too, and I heard from all of them today too.
It's amazing when you have a birthday how special you feel. My dad always sends me a special card and this year I learned I'm not too old to be Daddy's little girl.  That's pretty great.   You are only as old as you feel and pretty much I'm still 17 with about 33 years of practice.  It gets me in trouble now and again, but why quit now.  I'm getting pretty good at 17!  Thanks again to all of you who sent me birthday wishes - not too shabby for someone who isn't going to have any more birthdays!  I'm quitting while I'm still young!  Cheers!

One Giant Leap

This is a really busy time of year.  It seems like I have been running at rocket speed since the school year started.  This is our third week of school and I finally feel like things are starting to settle down a little bit.  Our routine is coming together as is the schedule of weekly events.  The leap to Middle School at our house has been a big one.  My daughter is now the very proud owner of a locker at school.  She has figured out how much time she has between her classes to visit her favorite part of school and still get to her next class on time.  She told me today that she has it all organized so that everything fits.  I've decided that organization is a big part of being in 6th grade.  On the very first day of school they are handed a student planner and told to use it.  They write down their homework assignments and when they are due.  My daughter's school uses "block" scheduling so they don't have the same classes everyday.  So something that is assigned in Spanish on Tuesday probably isn't due until Thursday when the class meets again.  She made the Cross Country team this fall and she's had to be at practice until 5.  When she comes home she works on her homework until its done and then she might have a little relaxing time.  There's also band and learning a new instrument (the clarinet) thrown in there for good measure.  She's still managing to make it to two martial arts classes + sparring every week.  Yes, we are very busy at our house.
I have to say that I am very proud of the way my darling girl has landed on her feet throughout this big transition.  We've had a few organizational hiccups these last few weeks but we have learned from them and I have tried to provide a few suggestions to help her manage her needs.  She decided she needed a magnetic tablet inside her locker so that she can quickly write down things she needs to bring home for homework.  She's also using her running to decompress so that she can have a relaxing evening and her martial arts classes are a much needed break from the hectic pace of the week.  She decided that a class on Wednesday evening would help her focus for the end of the week.
Every parent hopes that their children get to this point sometime in their life.  This time next year, or even in 3 months, the situation could be drastically different.  I know she is capable of rising to the challenge of a new school and a new schedule, and I have to say that I am quite proud of her.  It's delightful to see her in this new environment and to "re-live" all of these "firsts" with her.  Even when my job gets stressful I know that when I get home there will be a run down of the day at the dinner table, and we'll both enjoy hearing the news and events that have recently come to pass.
It all has happened so fast.  I just want to savor every detail!
To Middle School and the "Giant Leap" from Elementary!  Cheers!

9-11 Ten Years Later

Tomorrow our country remembers the attacks of 9-11-01 on the World Trade Center in New York, the Pentagon in Washington, DC and the failed hijacking that went down over Shanksville, PA.  It was a dark day in our nation's history for sure.  Everyone knows where they were ten years ago at 8:46am, 9:03am and times about an hour and a half later.  I was a brand new mother.  Just home from China with my daughter.  We were visiting family and friends on the East Coast.  I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched the second plane smash into the south tower.  It was a sight I'll never ever forget.  The day just got worse.  As the news kept coming it made me weak in the knees.  I was scared, sad and felt very stranded. It was a very odd set of emotions to feel all at one time.  The attack on the Pentagon just about put me over the edge.  I had lived and worked in Washington, DC before my nursing career got going and I knew how tight airspace security was.  Planes had to follow a certain path to land at Regan National Airport and Dulles.  There was no deviation...ever.  That day was horrific.  After the fact we learned that planes at Andrews AFB couldn't scramble fast enough to intercept that flight that had just left Dulles.
As the day wore on we learned of the crash in Pennsylvania.  Weeks later we learned that the passengers on that flight fought back against the hijackers, and even though they went down and perished they gave us strength because they had fought back.  That plane was meant for the White House.  It took all I had to get back on an airplane and come back to Portland.  My mom and my daughter were with me and I just figured if we went down, I'd be with the people I loved and cared about the most.  The only person missing from that flight was my dad.

By the evening time on the news people were getting camera time to ask if anyone had seen their loved ones.  They had fliers and pictures and descriptions.  It was awful.  You just had this sinking feeling that they were underneath all that rubble in New York and Washington.  A makeshift wall went up almost overnight.  On that wall were flyers and pictures with phone numbers.  If you've seen this person please call her husband, mother, father, brother...Our nation had begun to grieve.  Then we learned about the fire fighters and police officers who had responded to the initial emergency calls for help.  There were stories of emergency personnel, climbing the staircases, helping the injured to safety only to go right back in there and start all over again, that is until the towers collapsed.  Then silence.  They pulled 14 or so people out of that wreckage still alive.  The others weren't so lucky.  They were regular people going about their everyday business that we call making a living.  The attacks came out of the blue.  They were horrifying, and devastating, not just for the families immediately involved, but for our nation.  At first it seemed that the terrorists won.  They accomplished what they set out to do.  However, being American meant more than that.  It meant that we would certainly grieve for those that were killed, but it also meant that we would stand up again and fight back.

Now here we stand, still, ten years later.  The terrorists didn't win.  They didn't win because we got up and dusted ourselves off and kept on living.  There were babies born that day, and more over the next year who would never know their fathers.  They have grown up over the last ten years as my daughter has, in the shadow of that awful day, but also in spite of it.  They are a shining light of this generation.  Their father's spirits shine brightly through their eyes and their hearts, and they will go on to be doctors and lawyers, and fire fighters and police officers.  Those children, especially, will never forget, as most of us never will.  We will continue to live our lives to the highest extent, in spite of the evil and horror that occurred that day.  We might never understand why we were so brutally attacked, but as Americans will go on.  That is our way, and truly a glass half full outlook.  To those children who will never know their dad's I dedicate today's blog.  Even though I didn't know your dads, I will never forget that day.  It has been burned in my memory forever.  Live your lives as your fathers did, as fully as humanly possible.

The First Day of School

The first day of school for my daughter is tomorrow and I am reminded of those days some thirty odd years ago.  Not much has changed.  The much anticipated supply list arrives and it is poured over and studied.  The back pack and lunch box are inspected meticulously to see if they might survive another year.  This year the verdict was yes.   The 1st day outfit is considered over the long weekend and arrived at by Saturday - (this year it's white capri's and a butterfly graphic T, with new Nike sneakers).  The supplies are packed up in the backpack and organized so it all fits and doesn't weigh 10,000 pounds.  We've practiced with a combination lock all summer long so that the locker won't be too much of an issue.  So now here we are...flipping and flopping and trying to get to sleep.  There were many "I love you mom's" spoken tonight.  There was also a little confession of nerves, but in the end it is an adventure. I remember my first day of Middle School.  It was a little different situation.  A strange school in another town.  All my friends were going to a school only 7 miles away in a cool town.  I was being bused 22 miles away to a town with mostly farm kids.  I didn't really know anyone there and I had never ridden the bus before.  I was a townie so I walked to school.  The bus was horrible, the ride was long, and that was a hard year socially.  I missed my friends.  Thank goodness it was only for a year.  Whew.  At least my daughter knows that all of her friends with the exception of two will be there with her tomorrow.  She won't be a lone on her big adventure.  For that I'm grateful.  It will be a hard day for me tomorrow too.  My baby is growing up.  She's earned the right to ride her bike to school by proving herself responsible.  We've ridden over there a few times this last week and she knows the way and every crack in the sidewalk.  It makes me nervous, but I know that I have to let go a little bit.  It's just hard when you're the mom and watching her go off on her own.  I'll probably follow her over there for the first few days and then she's on her own.  Maybe this will make it a little easier when she takes off in the car for the first time and by the time she leaves for college I'll be an old pro.  No matter how old she gets though, she'll always be my little baby girl with the sticking up hair that I traveled 1/2 way around the world for, that much will never change.
Cheers!

Labor Day Weekend

Here we are at Labor Day Weekend, and my comment to that is "already?!  Really?!"  Our summer is just getting going and already I can sense fall in the air.  The other night I had to get up and get an extra blanket from the linen stash in the laundry room.  My little dog was socked in to my side searching for warmth as much as I was.  I checked on my daughter and she too was hunkered down under her covers.  While usually I am excited by the first chilly nights signaling the change in the seasons, this time I was just like a little kid - "it can't be over yet!  I want a little more time! I wan't a few more warm days and time for the pool and the bar-b-que!"  There was more evidence this morning.  As I headed east on Scholl's Ferry Road the sun was just coming up over the horizon and it wasn't the beautiful yellow of summer,  it was the golden hue of autumn.  It's so evident the way it shines on the top of the trees.  In the summer, it is bright yellow and full of the heat of the season, but in the autumn the sun is different.   The yellow has phased into gold, gentle and warm - the strength and heat zapped.  I love the change of the seasons, but from summer to autumn is the hardest for me.  I am a child of summer.  I love the heat, swimming in our pool, cooking and eating outside, and enjoying the beautiful weather in the Great State of Oregon.  As a child I grew up at the beach and summer seemed so much longer.  Probably because I wasn't sitting in an office, but playing outside all day, swimming in the bay, eating Lance crackers on the beach, building sand castles, climbing trees, riding bikes, and catching "lightning bugs" in the evening time.  Once it starts, the fall comes quickly.  By the first day of Autumn the trees have begun to change colors, the evenings are cool and the days are only warm.  There might be one hot day thrown in there, but not many.  In October the skies begin to gray and by Columbus Day the chilly weather turns wet.  By Halloween the rains have come in earnest.  With the occasional sun break comes the colors of autumn.  The striking contrast of the changing trees against the grey skies.  It is truly a photographer's paradise - stunning!
There a couple of things that are changing besides the seasons.  My daughter is entering Middle School this year.  A big change.  She's going from the second smallest school in the district to one of the largest.  She is anxious for the school year to start, although I sense some hesitation.  It's a confusing feeling to be excited and terrified at the same time.  We have changed our "ride" going from a mid-size SUV to a more fuel efficient smaller model.  I have mourned my 2007 Sportage.  I loved that car.  One of the best I've ever owned.  My new little Soul is great though.  It's starting to really grow on me.  I love feeling like I'm playing a live game of Mario Kart, plus it has all the bells and whistles.  The ultimate in gadgets.
I suspect that the chores will get done a little faster this weekend.  Afterall, we are on a schedule!  These last few days of summer won't last long, so we need to get to it!  Have a good weekend everyone!
Cheers!