Today I had a wonderful conversation with two of my great friends. We are three mothers of daughters, all only children. Annie is married and the mother of Rachel, a sophomore in high school. Kristin is a single mom and she is the mother of Kaitlyn a senior in high school. Then there's me, single mother of Kaysie who is in the 6th grade. All three of us love our daughters deeply, and all of them are at different stages in their lives, but all of us are feeling like time is so short and is flying by quicker than we care to think about.
Kristin is getting ready to watch her daughter move to the next stage of her life. The college choices are getting narrowed down, and her daughter is starting to be more and more independent of her mom. One of her college choices is far away from home and another a lot closer. From what I gathered my good friend Kristin would never tell Kaitlyn not to go to the far away college, but yet she would secretly be very happy if she were to pick the one that is closer to home. Just to have a few more years of her needing mom - even if it's just for laundry and a good home cooked meal. Kristin was gracious enough to share her beloved Kaitlyn with me this summer as a nanny for my daughter. It was a pleasure getting to know her. She and my Kaysie had a lot in common and were great companions. She is the kind of teenager I want Kaysie to be, well rounded, responsible, and thoughtful of others.
Annie and her husband are watching her daughter Rachel come into her own as an independent young woman. This year she traveled to a cross country meet at Stanford University down in California, without either of them. I have known Rachel since she was about 6 years old. I remember when she first played soccer and basketball, rode her first horse and went to outdoor school. Rachel was like me, she never was far away from mom and dad, but now she's a young woman who is stepping out into her teens with grace and poise. I have always looked to Annie and Rachel as a window on what the next steps for Kaysie and myself might be. Annie, you have always been very generous with your stories, and I am so grateful for that. What a gift that has been to this single mom. Thank you both.
This year my Kaysie started middle school, and I was panic stricken. I was worried about everything, bullying (cyber and otherwise), mean girls, hormones, 8th grade boys, you name it, I laid awake worrying about it over the summer. I did however, spend a great deal of time "investing" in my daughter. I started a new job over the summer and it allowed me to be more "present and more of a presence" in her life. Not that I wasn't before, now it was just different because the stress of work had fallen away and I was able to relax at home. We took a week off, just the two of us, and played and went to the pool, we cooked and went on little day trips to OMSI, the zoo, the Oregon Coast, and just enjoyed being a family. I wanted her to know how much I loved her and that I would always have her back no matter what. I feel like Middle School is such a vulnerable time for a young girl. So much is changing, there has to be a constant someplace. I want that constant to be me, her mom.
Through our conversation today the other two mothers and I agreed that we are indeed the "constant" in our daughters lives, and I think all of us would agree that we hope that never changes. We love our girls deeply. When we have raised them up and they have left us, we will be confident that the world is getting the best of ourselves three confident, independent young women. Our children are a gift we are given that we are not meant to keep, we just borrow them for a short time, and I know three mothers who are making the most of it. Cheers!
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