"A Little Knowledge..."

"A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing in the wrong hands." Anonymous

For the last sixteen years I have worked as a nurse.  Fifteen of those years I spent in the operating room getting a good look at what crazy business humans sometimes have to endure.  Some of it our own doing, most of the time not.  Anyhow, when you work a job like that you are in a constant state of learning.  When I think of all the wild things that have passed through my brain and before my very eyes it's mind boggling.  Most of what you learn gets stored away for later use.  Every now and then it's brought to the forefront of your mind, usually, when someone you love and care about comes to you and says, "this is what's going on with me, what do you think?"  If you've been a nurse as long as I have you hesitate to answer.  You don't want to scare them, but at the same time you are thinking, "Oh no!!  Not that!"

Just yesterday, my darling daughter calls me on the phone and our conversation went something like this:
Kaysie: "Mom, I have pain in my left eye and my vision is blurred."
Me: "When did this start?"
Kaysie: "Well, I had it a little bit before I went to camp.  I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd make me stay home."
Me: (thinking to myself - Oh crap!): "Gee I wish you had told me.  I might have made you go a day later."
Kaysie: "So what do I do now?"
Me: "Go see the eye doctor." thinking all the while - what in the world can my mind conjure up?!
Basically, I went straight home, and found her on the sofa.  Her eye was a little red, but outwardly it looked ok.  My "Nurse Senses" were tingling and I could only think, well if it's been on an off for a week and I'm only hearing about it now, how bad could it be?!  (Oh maybe I didn't want to ask myself that question.)  I called the eye doctor and we got an appointment for today, which was pretty darned quick!  Thank goodness.  I must have sounded a little nervous.

While I was cooking dinner all I could think about was tumors and growths and what not.  I didn't think about the obvious, just the extraordinary.  I didn't want to think about those things, but I couldn't help it.  I prayed and asked God if he would take that worry away.  I also petitioned for prayers from my "family." I guess what I'm getting at is that before my "nursing knowledge" could get the best of me, I had to turn it all over to the one who is bigger than any of it.  Professionally, you can throw anything at me.  I don't panic and I'm not easily flustered.  Over the years I've been up to my armpits in "worst case scenario" moments in the OR, and never batted an eyelash.  But, where my child is concerned, I turn to mush on the inside.  "The Nurse Armor" remains intact on the outside, but sometimes my imagination and all that knowledge gets the best of me on the inside.  Then the "gentle hand" of the one who created us all comes down and the "still small voice" says "Stop it.  I've got everything under control."  Today He certainly did.
A simple case of eye strain.  Nothing a nice pair of glasses and minimal TV couldn't cure.  We dodged a bullet here and I am very thankful.  I am also grateful to all of our "family" who held us up in prayer and with words of love.  That's what got this tough, not quite old, nurse through.  Thank you all.  As for Miss Kaysie, she's back outside - running around being a kid with a summer full of plans!