You Can't Tell Where You Are Going if You Don't Know Where You've Been

     When I was in nursing school one of my professors used to tell us "You can't tell where you're going unless you know where you've been." I remember thinking how true that statement was.  So every year at the end of the old year I start to really open my mind for what the new year might hold,  but first I look back to see where I have been over the course of the  year.   I am in that place right now.  Looking back and moving forward at the same time.
      This year has been a year of change and transition for my family and myself.  Some of the highlights include my daughter moving from elementary school to middle school.  I've also watched her move through 3 levels of her martial arts training which is an amazing thing to watch.  I've also watched her grow into a poised young lady - no more little girl around here.  That was made crystal clear last night at dinner when she made a point of letting our waiter know that she wanted the "regular" portion of fettucini NOT the kids portion.  It's a joy to watch your children grow and mature.  As for me, I have moved from clinical to administrative nursing.  That was a tough transition for me as I liked my job as an Operating Room nurse a lot.  This new position is a very family friendly one and allows my schedule to be very flexible and most importantly does not involve being on call  which is a HUGE blessing.  I also feel like I have been moving toward a more faith based life which is something that I had been desiring for a long time and just didn't know where to start.
      Now that we are at the very end of this year I have begun to look forward to the coming year.  I am very glad that none of us really knows what the future holds.  I like the twists and turns that life's journey takes you on, and in the coming year I am hoping for a few life changing adventures.  One of the things that I would like to happen is that I would like to go on a medical mission trip.  My goal is to go to Africa and use my nursing skills to maybe make life a little better for some kids who really need that.  It's something that I've always wanted to do and in 2012 I will be 50 so this is a celebration of 50 years of life. What better way to celebrate life than to give of yourself and your knowledge and skills?!  One of my resolutions for the coming year is to bless others however I can.  I'm not certain how that will play out, but it will be one of those things that will be fun to see how it all turns out.  I have a few things in mind believe me.  
      So here's to 2011 - it's almost over, and the New Year is almost here.  Let us be thankful that we are able to appreciate it for whatever blessings it gave us.  If the old year was not kind, let us hope that the new year will be.  Let us all look forward to where we might be going in the coming year, because we know where we have traveled this past year.  As the Irish blessing says, "May the road rise to meet you and the wind always be at your back."  Happy New Year to all!

Gifts

     Ahhhh, the Christmas season is just about done.  Christmas day came with all the bows and paper and excitement, and then it was over.  My family had a wonderful day.  We took a break and ate a delicious breakfast and went back to the business of enjoying time opening gifts.  We all got something that touched our hearts.  I received a little bracelet from my daughter.  She shopped and picked out just the right one, she purchased it with her own money and wrapped it up with love.  I was speechless.  My mother received a new monitor for her computer.  She was so grateful.  She has been without a computer for a while now and even though she'd never admit it, I know she missed her emails and looking up her knitting and craft patterns.  My daughter received an upgrade to her cell phone.  Something totally unexpected and fancier than I think she thought she should have.  A total surprise.  She also got her first "film camera".  It was an old Nikon that I found at Goodwill.  It had all the bells and whistles anyone could want - a "panorama" feature (wide angle), a good zoom, and built in auto flash, plus it was a size and weight she could manage. Initially I bought it as a joke, but she was so happy with it I almost held her nice digital model for a later occasion like her birthday.  Everyone was grateful and loved each gift.
      I read an interesting story this morning during my quiet time.  It told the story of a woman who arrived in heaven and was touring with St. Peter.  She found a room that was filled with gifts, beautifully wrapped and stacked up high.  She found a pile with her name on them and asked if she could open them, sadly St. Peter said no.  When she asked why he told her that these were gifts that God had sent her while she was alive and that they were returned because they were not really recognized as gifts.  I guess the question I would ask would be, would you send back a gift that was given in love?
     When I look back at our Christmas I see that we were given many other gifts than what is sitting in my living room right now.  We were given the gift of time.  My mother arrived on December 7th and we have had a wonderful visit.  So many of my friends don't have their mothers with them here on earth anymore and every visit we have together is precious to me.  Kaysie has had a really nice visit with my mom.  I've had to work a lot and so they have spent many happy hours together, baking, crafting and just relaxing and reading.  We were given the gift of memories - we took a day trip to Seattle and just had the best time.  We went up in the Space Needle and looked around Pike Place Market, we saw the first Starbucks and found a great little yarn store.  We took lots of pictures and just laughed and enjoyed a beautiful sunny day.  I think that every time I spend an appreciable time with my mom we find more and more common ground.  Even though I am her "little girl" I feel like she respects me as a mother and an adult more and more and that to me is not only an incredible gift but a treasure as well.   I'm sure there are other gifts that I haven't even figured out yet.  I will though because I think it's important to take the time to find them.
     What unseen gifts did you receive this Christmas?  Did you receive them or did you send them back unopened?  That would be a real shame.  Write to me and tell me what you found this Christmas other than what was under your tree.  Cheers!

I'll Be Home for Christmas

     One of my favorite Christmas songs is "I'll be Home for Christmas."  The origins of this song I've learned, dates back to World War II.  It was written from the point of view of an American soldier overseas during the Christmas Holidays who was writing a letter to his family saying he'd be home, but added at the end "if only in my dreams."  Bing Crosby recorded it for Deca Records in the fall of 1943.  It quickly rose to the top of the charts that year and became the most requested song at USO shows.
     Recently,  recording artist Josh Groban  recorded this memorable Christmas favorite and the music is interspersed with messages from military personnel serving our country in the Middle East which brings me to my point.  This song has always been a reminder to those at home to think of those who are far from home serving their country.  This year my daughter and I sent Christmas and Hannukah cards to service people through Holiday Cards for Heroes.  For those of you who are reading my humble ramblings far from home this holiday season, please know that my family is praying for your safe return daily and that you are indeed thought of and that your service means a lot to us.  I was born in the Old Family Hospital at Camp LeJuene, NC (Hu-Rah to all my Marine Corps family) and I am very proud that my dad served his country.
     I hope that many of you will indeed be home for Christmas this year, and for those of you still serving far from home God Bless you and keep you safe so that you can soon be home to your families.  Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!

That's What Christmas is All About Charlie Brown

     One of my all time favorite Christmas specials is "Merry Christmas Charlie Brown."  Charlie Brown is being himself.  Sad and confused he turns to Lucy in her psychiatry booth.  Through her help Charlie Brown finds himself the director of the Christmas play.  Out of sheer frustration he yells "What is Christmas all about?"  I found myself in the same holiday funk this morning.  As I drove to work I went down my holiday laundry list and wondered how in the world it was all going to get done.  It seems like for everything I've checked off at least two more things cropped up (in my best Homer Simpson voice)  "Doh!" Out of sheer frustration I lamented my feelings on my Facebook page.  Surely there has to be some sympathy out there someplace.
     Charlie Brown got his answer about what Christmas was all about from Linus.  His trusty blanket made into a shepherd's headdress, Linus quotes one of my favorite passages from the book of Luke (2:8-14) about the birth of the Christ child.  Please realize that this special was made well before our concern for political correctness, and people saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"; back when the world was innocent and we were still children.
      When I checked my facebook page about an hour later I was reminded about what Christmas was all about from my dear friend Frank.  This is what he wrote to me " Wendi...Wendi...Wendi Christmas is not shopping, or cooking, or living up to expectations of others. It's about family, it's about looking at your little girl and thanking the Lord for what He has given you...The idea of Christmas as we know it is love and be loved by all those around you.  Merry Christmas my dear friend to you & your loved ones and may God bestow a wonderful new year...but if you do bake some cookies save one for me... :-)"
     When Linus finishes his monologue he says "That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."  I suspect Charlie Brown knew deep down what Christmas was all about.  I know I do, I just needed to be reminded.  Thank you for taking the time to remind me Frank!  Merry Christmas!

PS I sure will save you some cookies! :o)

A Christmas Prayer for Bess

Heavenly Father, 

Let us all be filled with the spirit of your only Son;

Sent into this world as a symbol of peace and love,
So that we might have eternal life.

Let us remember His humble birth in Bethlehem, 
The angels that proclaimed his birth to the shepherds in the fields that holy night, 
And those that had the faith to follow the star in the night sky that led to His manger bed.
May all those who gather here in His name to honor the celebration of His birth, 
Hold His love and goodness in their hearts now and always.

Amen.


I wrote this Christmas prayer for my friend Bess.  It's simple message is my gift to her this Christmas.  These are the things that I hold dear in my heart this time of year.  It's amazing to me when I see the miracles that God works everyday.  It all started 2000 years ago in a stable in Bethlehem because there was no room at the inn.  There was Mary young and pregnant, betrothed to Joseph a humble carpenter.  She told him an unbelievable story of Gabriel, God's messenger, sent to tell her of what was to be.  Another angel appeared to Joseph and confirmed her story.  He had the faith to be true to her and to care for her, and when they went to register her time came to have her baby.  What a night!  Angles spoke to shepherds, a bright beautiful star appeared in the night sky, people came from all around to see the miracle of God on earth.  For at least one night the world was at peace.

May we all find that same peace this Christmas season and hold it in our hearts all year long.  Merry Christmas Bess.  Peace.

The Best Gift Ever

     Today we got a very special Christmas card.  It had a picture in it, hand drawn by the little girl that we sponsor in Ethiopia, a world away from Portland, OR.  Kaysie and I were very excited to get news from that part of the world.  The letter that came with the card was from the World Vision program director for her region.  Our little girl is going to school for the first time in her life at nine years old.  She's learning to write her name, to read and to do math.  The program director gave us the latest news from her region of Ethiopia and she told us how much appreciated our monthly gift to our little girl was.  She spoke of new schools that were being built so that the children didn't have so far to travel to learn.  How for the first time ever this area where our sponsored child lives, had clean safe water to drink, and that the community at large was benefiting from irrigation that was helping them to farm and grow much needed food for their families.  She also said that they were hopeful to be getting better access to basic health care.
     Every single thing that this lady spoke of, I know I have taken for granted, at some time or another.  Clean water, education for my daughter, food and access to more than basic health care for my both my daughter and myself.  These people are delighted and very grateful to have them for the first time EVER.  As I read this letter I felt both proud and ashamed.  Ashamed that I had so much and had not fully appreciated it; proud because I knew that what little I was giving was being put to excellent use to make life better to folks who really needed it.  Now I know there are people out there that think that we should take care of people in our own country, and yes I agree with that, but I also think that maybe we should be thinking wider.  The wider world is important too.  I wrote recently about  the Portland Rescue Mission and the good work that they do right here at home.  Well now I'm writing about my friends at World Vision.
     World Vision takes care of the wider world.  Their programs are all over the globe and here in the US.  As far as non-profit organizations go, they use their money wisely and a larger portion goes to the programs they sponsor.  I asked before what would happen if everyone sent in $5 to the Rescue Mission or similar organization in their area here in the US.  Now I'm going to ask, what would happen if we invested in our brothers and sisters around the globe?  What would that say about us?  How would it make you feel to know that someone far away might get to go to school for the first time, or take a long drink of safe clean water?  I know it was the best gift that I ever could receive, knowing that I made it possible for a little nine year old girl on the other side of the world.  Merry Christmas Hirut.  I hope we get to meet each other some day.

If you are interested in helping World Vision with their good work by sponsoring a child or just making a contribution you can find them at www.worldvision.org or at their address
World Vision
P.O. Box 78481
Tacoma, WA 98481-8481

Together we can make the world a better place.  Cheers!

My Child of Peace

 Two years ago the Peace Sign celebrated it's 50th anniversary.  They were everywhere.  Emblazoned on T-shirts, jewelry, heck I even have a pair of hot pink flip flops that have rhinestone peace signs on the toe piece.  My daughter asked me "where did that sign come from?"  I said that for my whole life it had symbolized the 1960's anti-war movement, and that as time wore on it became more than that.  That it had become a sign all over the world for what peace really meant.  I appreciated her asking and actually being interested in the answer.  

     In the time since she asked me I noticed that sign appearing on many of the shirts and pieces of jewelry that she picked out. She has also been gifted with several nicer pieces of peace sign jewelry that she wears proudly.   I got to thinking about that, and realized that in her own way she was living a life of peace by outwardly showing the world that's what she was all about.  Many of her teachers have told me that she is a peacemaker and that she goes out of her way to help  her classmates find solutions to their problems in a kind and quiet way.  

     When she was in 4th grade she was on a Destination Imagination team at her school.  The team mates were both boys and girls, and they picked a difficult problem to solve.  Apparently there were lots of decisions to be made and an equal number of opinions on how to solve it.  According to the adult leader, my daughter, the shy quiet girl, was instrumental in bringing about the peace process and decisions that had to be made.  That made me very proud.  Since that time she has grown into a young lady before my very eyes.  I see her live a life of peace and kindness everyday.  She knows in her heart what peace is all about and she gives it freely to all who know her, person and animal alike.

     In 12 days we will be celebrating the birth of another child of peace, in fact he's  The  Child of Peace.  I encourage all of you to look inside your heart and find the peace of Christmas and the Child who brought it with him.  Live a life of peace not just at Christmas, but all year long.  Merry Christmas!

      

Surprise!!

     The holidays are full of surprises.  Between the presents and the people, it's almost too much to take.  I got my first surprise of the holidays on Wednesday.  At the time it wasn't very funny.  Everyone but me was laughing, but by the end of the evening even I was laughing, but I'm still not quite recovered from the shock.  My mom was coming to spend the holidays with my daughter and I.  I had her arrival marked on the calendar.  Saturday 10 December at around 8:00pm.  Right there on my iPhone Calendar.  I had my alerts and everything.   However, I was wrong, dead wrong.
     I received a call on Wednesday evening at about 5:30 from my Aunt Candy.  "Hi, I just thought you'd like to know your mom is in Oakland, getting ready to board the plane for Portland."  Stone cold silence on my end and then " Did you say she was in Oakland getting ready to board the plane for Portland?!"  My whole body went numb.  "That can't be right, I have her arriving on Saturday at 8:00pm."  There was a pause on the other end and then peals of laughter erupted into the phone.  "Ha!  I thought I was the only one that got dates confused!!  I guess not! " followed by LOTS more laughter.  I was thinking to myself, this isn't really very funny.  I am NOT ready!!  So much still left to be done.  Kaysie had 3 tests this week, I had a huge work party to get together,  oh this is not good!!
     I immediately ran and did a quick tidy up (grandma cleaning was performed last weekend, thank goodness!!)and whisked Kaysie off to Ikea at the airport for a quick dinner and then we picked up mom. Whose plain, by the way, arrived 20 minutes early (of Course!!)  What a mess.  We found her and got her home to our house and ever since then we have been dancing around each other while we all settled in.  The tests got taken and the party at work is now done.  She can be here now and we will begin to enjoy our visit.
     It was funny, looking back.  I don't think I've ever been caught that un prepared for an out of town guest.  I love my mom dearly and I'm always glad to see her.  So many of my good friends don't have their mothers any more, and I feel so lucky that she is still able to come and stay with us.  We love having her for Christmas and now that all the stressful things are done we can just enjoy each other and settle in for the season.  She's supposed to be here now and now I'm ready.   Have a happy holiday season with those you love weather you are expecting them or surprised that they are there!  Cheers!
     

Warm & Cozy

     Today when I arrived home I was chilled to the bone.  I came in my house and it was soooo warm and cozy.  Cute little dog greeted me with her little tail wagging a mile a minute.  I took said little dog out and when I came in I changed my clothes and made some tea.  Now here I sit in my favorite spot doing my one of my favorite things.  Life is pretty darned good.
     On my way home I received a text from a friend of mine.  She was approached by a homeless man who asked for some change in exchange for a couple of filthy slices of bread.  While I have to admit that we did giggle about that for a minute.  It just seemed a little silly, but then again, he was offering to give my friend something in return for her change.  I told her that maybe during these cold days we should carry pre-paid meal cards for the cafeteria because then at least he could come in out of the cold and get something hot to eat.  She thought maybe he wanted money for a drink.  Sad to think about that, but she was probably right.
     When I thought about that little man I felt sad.  It's cold outside.  I don't think it ever made it out of the 30's today.  In fact, if we have any precipitation it would probably be snow.  I don't know about you but I HATE to be cold.  I wouldn't last a minute outside if we lost our home.  Cold hurts.  Some people say that homeless people chose to live that way.  That might be true in some cases but I don't think it's true for everyone.  The ones that are outside and don't want to be are the ones that I feel for.  It has to be a hard life.  Sleeping on the sidewalk with little or nothing to cover you up.  In Portland, that  has miserable written all over it.  Right now, we are lucky because the weather is dry, but if it were raining or worse yet snowing or sleeting, well that puts a whole new twist on things.  There are shelters here, nice ones, but they fill up fast.  Then what?
     I only say this because in the mail this week and also before Thanksgiving we received a letter from the Portland Rescue Mission.  Just a little bit of money goes a long way I've found.  Whenever I encounter a homeless person I always direct them there.  Those folks do good work.  They try very hard to help people reclaim their lives especially the ones who want help.  Ever since I've lived on my own I've always thought that we are all one or two steps away from a similar fate.  An overwhelming medical bill or the loss of a job in these hard times could start a downward spiral that might bottom out on the streets of Tigard, or Portland, or where ever.  So as you read this little message consider your surroundings.  Your warm house or apartment, your hot dinner, warm shower and cozy bed.  We all deserve that don't you think?  When those letters from the Rescue Mission in your town come, think about my friend's little man with the dirty bread.  Maybe slip $5 in an envelope and send it in.  What would happen if everyone who got that letter did that?  How about if we find out.  Cheers!

Company is Coming!

     Company is coming for the holidays.  So this weekend we cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned.  At one point my daughter says to me, "Are we going to do ANYTHING fun this weekend?"  We did make a batch of Christmas cookies (Mexican wedding cookies) last night, and it was pretty satisfying in the "fun" category especially the powdered sugar part!  I digress...we prepared our home to receive our guest for the holidays.  There is still a lot to do, but the big stuff is done.  Thank goodness.  I was dismayed to find this morning that the carpet in the entry way looks worse than when I started, and I learned that it's probably wicking up from the padding.  Swell.  I made a mental note to insist on hardwood floors in our next home.
     Preparations such as these are really hard work.  Since my worthy assistant doesn't find such things "fun" I was on my own.  That's ok, except this morning I was exhausted and could not believe it was time to get up when my alarm went off.  Then I thought of something; the first Christmas had less than desirable accommodations.  Pretty much outside, dark cold, and probably not all that clean.  The king of kings was born in a very humble place to young parents who weren't married yet, and were more than likely scared out of their minds.  That kind of puts things into perspective.  My home, while small, is clean warm and has an indoor bathroom with running water. I am pretty high on the lucky scale there.  I know there are those with a whole lot less, and who might not be able to receive an out of town guest or even be expecting one.  While I will strive to have everything all ready for my guest, I might just leave one thing undone or untouched to remind me that it doesn't have to be perfect, because we will be celebrating the humble birth of our Lord.  Something tells me that he can relate to a busy single mother who tries her best!  Cheers!

The Santa Cam

     The Santa Cams have quite an important place in my little family's Christmas tradition; this is the story.
When Kaysie was little,  probably about 4, we were in Target around Christmas browsing in the toy department.  I have to preface this with the fact that after Thanksgiving every kid I've ever known has been filled to the tippy top with the spirit of Christmas, often times, much to the dismay and frustration of their parent.  On this particular evening there was such a child in the toy department at Target, and it was not my daughter.  He was racing up and down the aisles thrilled with all the toys at his eye level.  His mother looked like she had about had it.  I knew that look all too well.  Your darling child has been transformed into a Christmas demon, bent on frazzling your every last nerve.  Yep, been there.  Finally, with all the exasperation she could muster she told him that if he didn't get in the cart this instant, the Santa Cams right in that Target were going to show Santa that he belonged on the naughty list and he wouldn't be getting anything but underwear, socks and coal for Christmas!  I thought holy cow, this kid has been working hard all day to get his poor mother to this point.  All the while she was pointing at the ceiling.  I thought, what is she pointing at, and then it dawned on me, the sprinkler heads!  Those were the Santa Cams!  I thought this woman is a genius!  Sure enough a few weeks later in that very same Target I was at the same point with my own daughter.  She wasn't quite at the same point as that little fellow was, but she was pretty darned close.  I told her about the same thing and showed her the Santa Cams.  Her little eyes grew wide, and she straightened up in short order.
     Those sprinkler heads are EVERYPLACE.  We have them in our apartment, in all the rooms, even the bathroom.  They are every few feet in every store, the airport, schools, church and the grocery store.  Hmmm.  Let me just say, that the legend of the Santa Cam grew to include the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.  Stretching it I know, but a desperate parent will take desperate measures to entice good behavior.  I'm not above that.  A single mother, especially, needs to have tools that work.  The Santa Cam worked - at least for a while.  In our house the Santa Cams clicked on on September 1st (Kaysie's birthday - coincidentally) and they kept a very careful account of right and wrong doing.  Aided by, a few years later The Elf on the Shelf.  When Kaysie was 8 I pulled out all the stops when the Elf named Ellie came to visit for the holidays.  That was the year that the idea of Santa was suspect; due to a conversation in the back of the school bus (subject of a future blog post).   So, Ellie the Elf on the Shelf came to disprove that conversation.
     With the help of Tim Allen and the Santa Claus movies, Ellie and the Santa Cams and a cleverly penned letter from Santa kept the secret safe for one more year.  Sadly, the jig was up after that.  Thanks to a fireman during Fire Prevention Week I was found out, and so were the Santa Cams.  I remember that day.  "MOM!! The Santa cams are sprinkler heads!"  I was so sad.  My cleverness had been discovered.  Ellie the Elf left forever and the sleigh bell didn't ring anymore (mostly because I bent that sucker and took the ringer thingy out to make a point).  Kaysie felt bad I think.  She snuggled up to me one night that Christmas and said, "Don't worry mommy we can tell  Maddie (her cousin) about the Santa Cams."  That we did.  So the legend of the Santa Cams will live on for another few years in our family.  Just so you know, when we are in Target around Christmas time and I see a frazzled parent, I share with them the secret of the Santa Cams.  You can't believe some of the looks I've gotten!  It's priceless when they realize the power of the Santa Cam and what pure genius the thought of it is!  May all of you parents out there discover for yourselves the power of the Santa Cam!  You better watch out because Santa is watching!  Cheers!