Ten Years

I have lived in my apartment for ten years.  That's a long time.  When we moved here Kaysie was just about to turn two.  This is the only home she's ever known and when we had been here a while the economy went south and we had no other choice but to stay, so we did.  It fit our needs, the school where Kaysie went was good and we had a swimming pool.  We rode it all out - right here in this little two bedroom flat on the corner.  Kaysie had her sandbox out on our back porch.  We brought sand back for it from Long Beach, WA and Gerheart, OR.  Many happy hours were spent making sand castles and cakes.  We've grown tomatoes on that porch every summer except this year (I broke the plants :-(  ).

Now that I've begun packing in earnest I am beginning to realize what ten years really looks like in terms of accumulation of "stuff."  I no sooner get a box of things packed, that I realize how much more there really is!  It's discouraging and a little overwhelming, but then when I look at what is before me, a memory is triggered and it all comes back to me.  Most of our memories here are very happy ones.  The time when she was small was such a sweet and tender time.  It's going to be hard to leave because this has been our home.  When you are a kid, you always remember the place where you started out.  I can still remember what my bedroom looked like in our first house.  The built in shelves and drawers where I kept my books, dolls and toys.  My little tiny closet where my clothes were kept and the dresser that my mom bought at a garage sale and fixed up for me.  I even remember how that house smelled.  Every now and then I smell a similar smell and I'm instantly taken back to 109 Beebe Ave.  I hope Kaysie remembers this little apartment as a happy place, as I remembered my childhood home.

In ten years time we have accumulated a lot of stuff.  Some things should have been long gone, but for whatever reason we've held on to them.  Kaysie started on her closet today.  She protested at first, but ended up having fun seeing all her old treasures.  She threw lots of things out, and blessed others with some things, and kept a very few special things.  I found things today that I didn't even realize I had.  I decided to give most of it to Goodwill.  I had no idea I had an electric can opener and an electric knife.  Crazy things, that clearly I've hauled across country and never used, so I guess I really didn't need them after all.  Tonight I packed up pictures.  Artwork and photographs carefully wrapped in tissue paper and placed in boxes bound for a storage space until we buy our home.  Some things are coming to our temporary home - so that it feels like home.  It's starting to be real that we are leaving and starting fresh.  The walls are just about bare.  Things are changing.  For the better.